Happy the Pirate
Season 3, Episode 1
Air date 31/07/2012
Written by (Unknown)
Directed by Freddrick Gorgote
Episode guide
Happy's Parlor

Happy the Pirate is the first episode of the 3rd season of Happy Appy.


The episode begins with a widescreen view of an animated school, it zooms in to reveal Happy Appy teaching a class while wearing an eyepatch. Appy acknowledges the 13 years that he was off the air by telling the viewers that he was at Fruit College, getting his diploma, and now he's back. He then resumes teaching his class, it reveals he is teaching a class to teach kids how to become pirates. One of the students begin playing with a large hook, and ends up cutting their hand. Happy notices this and begins to drag the child outside, putting him in his van. A loud chainsaw is heard being reved, and blood sprays onto the window. Afterwards, Happy walks out of the van with pieces of his skin removed. He walks back into the classroom, one of the students asks, "What happened to Danny?" Happy does his trademark deathstare at the camera for thirty seconds, until coldly replying that "Danny... has gone to a much... much better place." Appy begins teaching the kids about the history of fruit pirates for about three minutes until he tells them to go out to recess. The screen cuts to stock footage of children playing on a playground (the funny thing is that this footage is from 1964). It then shows a large bully picking on younger kids greenscreened over the stock footage. Happy Appy sees this and is outraged, so he goes over to the bully and drags him back into the classroom. Appy shuts the door and locks it. Loud yelling is heard from the room for about a minute until Appy is heard slamming the bully against the walls and lockers. The door slowly becomes visually damaged by Appy. The bully is heard screaming for help until a loud snapping sound is heard. Happy opens the door to reveal the entire room is covered with blood and bones. He murmurs that "If Forenzik was here, my job would be so much easier." Finally, Happy Appy tells the children their time is up and recess is over. The students return to the classroom, which has been cleaned up significantly. He then resumes his lesson about fruit pirates, he shows a cartoon that depicts how fruit pirates lived on ships. The cartoon lasts about 4 minutes, and then it ends. Happy Appy wraps up his lesson by asking the children questions about the cartoon they just watched. To his surprise, all of the kids answer all of the correctly. However, strangely, whenever a kid answers a question, Happy does his death stare for a few seconds before saying correct. Happy is so proud of his students that he says he has a big surprise for them. He makes them follow him outside of the school. The screen cuts to a large ship, with the children and Appy lined up in front of it. He gives the kids a lecture about how they worked hard, and now they're ready to become pirates. The kids begin walking onto the ship with pirate costumes on. Afterwards, Happy is shown standing on a mountain, with the ship visible in the background, Happy tells the audience that if they try hard enough, they can become pirates, too. In the middle of Happy's speech, a loud explosion is heard, the camera shows that the ship has just exploded. Happy Appy looks visually unaffected, he tells the audience not to be scared for those children because they're all dead and you could not of saved them.... but I could've saved them. Happy does his death stare for three minutes as the video gets more distorted. The credits roll with the song They're Coming to Take Me Away, Haaa-Ha playing. An advertisement for Happy Appy's newest episode plays at the end, but the torrent cuts out before any clips could be seen.


  • In some areas of America, this episode has aired in it's entirety, making this the first time a new episode has been aired since the 9/11 episode.
  • The voice actor for Happy Appy is now Lloyd Myers since Happy's original voice actor refused to voice him again.
  • There was no TV guide sypnosis, proving that it was hacked onto the channel.
  • This episode is called "Happy the Pirate", but the title card says "Happy Pirate".
  • Fruit College only offers diplomas to fruit.
  • We are not shown why Happy Appy would need to go to Fruit College, since the first few episodes say he had already graduated from Apple University with a degree in caretaking. Maybe he just likes college.
  • Real teachers do not talk about pirates, but instead teach the children valuable life skills and show them how to survive in the outside world. Happy Appy did not know this, however.
  • In one scene, Happy looks sort of like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, but without a mustache. Whether this was a subtle reference is anyone's guess.